Co-Parenting from the Inside Out by Karen L. Kristjanson

Author:Karen L. Kristjanson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Dundurn
Published: 2017-11-06T05:00:00+00:00

Ed’s Journey

Ed had gathered many resources around him, which sustained, taught, and inspired him. “I might be the luckiest person in the world. Twenty years with a men’s group, dear brothers. My new partner, Shelley, who walks on water and doesn’t know it. And she likes me.” Shelley had split from the father of her kids and since recreated a relationship with him, their kids, and his new wife. “There was a super hard time, but they made it through. The whole family is tight now. I don’t know if it’s possible for me, but I am hopeful.”

New self-understanding from life coaching had improved his connection with Daphne. “I’ve seen my role in the dance that I couldn’t see before, how I infuriated Daphne. When anything happened that wasn’t cool, my default was to flee. As she got scarier, I would protect myself more and more by not telling her the truth. I’d save it for later, or lie. Now my relationship with her is off the boil.” Having seen and taken re­­sponsibility for his part in past events, Ed could now make wiser choices.

As we wrapped up our interview, I asked what Ed would tell his earli­­er self. “It does get better. Time does some healing, there’s a palpable difference in just a year. I cherish the quality that every second weekend offers. Charlene and I are focused and we have good times together.”

And what else? “Take the money, stupid!”

The stressors here included Ed’s efforts to get his business going, his avoidance of conflict, and his affair, not to mention Daphne’s volatile temper, her ongoing depression, and her concussion symptoms. Ed built a strong set of supports for himself, and his growth gradually helped him grasp his role in the marriage problems. His relationship with Daphne was becoming smoother, though he could still see Charlene trying at times to be a peacekeeper. His girlfriend’s example of close co-parenting gave Ed hope that he and Daphne could, in time, achieve the same thing.

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